Haven't had 'em like this before. Not too keen on reality recently.

Had a surprisingly eventful weekend that involved going to  a party in a warehouse near Pudding Mill Lane. There were trapeze artists. There was acting. Then there was dancing to Wonky Electronica. I went on my own - vaguely knew a couple of people who were going, but mainly through myspace / msn. Didn't find them until about 4am.

Stayed up well into the next day listening to obscure Stereolab, Mouse On Mars and Sun Ra tracks with Ommm, who is a very pleasant chap.

One week ago I had a vision of looking for a place exactly like that to try out some sort of Sunday morning after-party jam thing - it's very odd that one week later I have actually managed to put myself in that position from cold. Not sure my sound would work that well in that setting though - it's too 'scary' apparently. But I'm trying it in Filthy's now anyway.

I must resist the decline into single-male-living-alone-squalor. It's not cool. I missed the bins for the first time on Sunday. I will do washing-up-based penance this evening. I want my flat to stay in a state that I would be happy to bring people back to.

Um. I am ashamed that I felt humiliated for falling in love and it going wrong. I will have more faith in people next time. I have had nothing but sympathy and support from everybody, and I hope I can pull myself together before it's dried up. I'm still in a total funk, but I really do appreciate for the first time in my life that I am not alone.