Just went to the last Kino Fist of the season. Couldn't really be bothered with it - Chris Marker - politics. I'm so fundamentally uninterested in politics. Gave up halfway through and came home.

So now I'm sat in my flat, having to turn the light on even though it's clearly still perfectly light outside, because I'm in this basement. I can't bring myself to shut the curtains but I don't want to turn on the light too bright because then everybody walking past the window will be able to look in.

I know there are things I could be doing. Like Ann's website, or my website, or working on those two tracks that I want to get ready for Halina to sing on. I just don't feel like it. I can't be bothered - I just want to natter with some people in the pub. Even though I decided not to drink today. Even though if I was in the pub my mind would probably be somewhere else.

Again, I feel like I'm being childish - like by this age I shouldn't just be wandering around the house saying "I'm bored, I'm bored, there's nothing to do" - "what about tidying up? what about that washing up? what about cleaning those blinds in the bedroom? what about mopping the kitchen floor?" - "noooo, I don't wanna!".

I don't mind doing boring stuff between other things. Or while I'm waiting for other things... I did all sorts of mundane tasks on Thursday while I was waiting for friends to come over. Perhaps it's a 'deadline' thing - perhaps it's because if there isn't an obvious ending to a period of time, then - you know - what's the point - there's plenty of time to do this and that, no need to hurry - just mess about until it's bedtime and go to sleep with the heaviness of inactivity - the guilt of laziness.

Times like this I have a long list of things I could do - it's identical to the long list of things I don't want to do.

"Yeah, I could do that, but then what?"